Sniffling

Every time I go out my front door in the morning, I regret it. The world seems to get a little more disgusting every day. Not in the way you might think, like seeing prostitutes or homeless people fight over a slab of meat or riding the murder mystery car (I think they are commonly referred to as "public buses."). No, I am talking about the change in seasons.

Don't get me wrong: I love Fall. It is probably my favorite season, what with all the crunchy leaves and grey skies. It just makes me want to drink a latte and read a book or hold a warm, fuzzy animal. Every year I look forward to the days when it rains and the dirt makes the special good smell, which I refer to as "rain yums."

However, the Fall and Winter season also bring with them the most disgusting thing in th world--colds. Yes, colds. The cold itself isn't disgusting, it's the side-effects. I don't mean the excessive snot, big red nose, runny eyes, or general cold induced stupidity (it's a real thing). No, I mean people who, rather than be an adult and blow their nose, sit there a sniffle like crazy.

Allow me to elaborate. Baseball Joe, who sits next to me in my calculus class,like to go for long early morning runs. As a result, he is always very sweaty and generally gross. In the Fall season this is extra true because not only is he dripping with his on sweat, but he is also covered in a layer of fog. This fog also infiltrates his nasal airway, stimulating the excess production of mucus to keep the water balance right in there or something. He is also being exposed to colder morning temperatures, which makes him more likely to catch a cold (which he now has)

As Baseball Joe sits next to me, I am very aware of his affliction. How so? Well, he leans his head down on his left arm and inserts a Vick's vapor inhaler into his nose and really lets lose on it. It's utterly shocking how much he can inhale for being so congested. While I am in awe of his lung capacity, he then proceeds to "clear" his throat by loudly hacking and gargling the mucus which is now stuck to his tonsils. This goes on for about 40 seconds. Sometimes it goes on while I am eating a banana. When it is that latter, time seems to slow down and the sound of his actions are magnified by about a million. I feel as though I need to pierce my ear drums with knitting needles to keep from vomiting. I have to stop eating my banana, which without fail turn a hideous brown color before I can safely resume eating it. When the ordeal is over, he looks at the people around him and snuffles out "Sowwie. I had uh culd."

Really, I couldn't tell. You do such a good job of hiding it, what with the nostril shaped Vick's inhaler you take hits off of every five minutes.