Holly Jolly Insanity

It's that lovely time of year again. Inside your house, your family is gathered around the TV for Rudolph and his bioluminescent nose. The radio insists on playing a hideously outdated or, even worse, a horrible "updated" christmas song about sleighs and bells and baby animals until you have to turn it off for fear of vomitting due to cuteness or before you develop diabetes. Stores have "the hottest gifts" for that "special someone" at "super low prices." Your credit card company has to hire extra goons for those post season collection calls--remember, every time you exceed your limit and then are forced to take out another credit card, that band dressed like pirates from TV writes a song about your credit score (I like to imagine they do anyway. The song I play in my head drowns out the sound of my finanaces' death rattle).

Thanksgiving passed just like any other one before it at my house--lots of small children running like mad things, crying (thankfully from an actual baby this time rather than a metaphoric one), too much eating, and my eventual energy crash as soon as all the sharks--I mean, the rest of my family--went home as soon as they had deavoured every last morsel of flesh that clung to the carcass in our kitchen that was at one point in time called "turkey." The only holiday I actually wanted to celebrate was Black Friday; not because I care about buying people presents, but because I wanted to buy ME a present. But, unfortunately, poor people are not allowed to shop (death rattle). Besides, who actually wants to get Lion Kinged at Wall-Mart just to get some toys which will likely give your children lead poisioning?

Hauntingly similar, no?

Consumerism is frightening during December and the end of Novemeber. Everyone loses their minds when they see those big "SALE" signs. Something about getting bargains brings out the base instincts of people. Suddenly, we are all starving and that sale is a big, juicy steak at a "reasonable" price.

I think it is best to remember in these crazy times that the best gifts you get during the holidays are free or home made.

Everyone already knows what to get you anyway (Well, your guy friends do anyway). I have heard it's appropriate for every single holiday.