City Of Filth

My alarm rang at the crack of noon and I staggered to my feet. This was it, the day I would get my start in the sex industry! I dug my phone out of yesterday's pile of clothes and called Suki to make sure she was up.

"Suki! Your baby girl is all grown up, are you still going to come take me to realize my dreams and seek my fortune?

"If by realize your dream you mean be a stripper, then yes."

"Alright I'll meet you at the subway in half an hour."

Suki and I made an odd pair in the subway station as we waited for one of the smelly metal beasts to come and regurgitate its load at us. I was done up in full streetwalker regalia, Chicago style: Long black wig, smokey eyes, red lips, push-up corset top, sequined black miniskirt with fishnet thigh-highs, and shiny black stiletto boots. Next to me stood Suki in Swarovski Crystal ballet flat shoes, a flowy grey skirt, and a girly little camisole top. Her cute little purse was probably worth more than the deposit on my apartment.

"Regina, I have the distinct feeling I'm going to be mugged here."

"Don't worry, we've been to the redlight district before. I heard a lot of strip joints were looking for new dancers. This will be fun, and give us something interesting to write about."

"Yeah, I guess you're right, but if I lose a crystal from these limited edition Marc Jacobs, I may have to cut someone."

We got off the subway and looked around. It was hot out and the air was thick with exhaust, garbage stench, and a slight tang of urine. Everyone was in a hurry to get into a car or get into a building, and the people we did see walking the alleyways and sidewalks looked anywhere from tweaker to criminal. We were soon approached.

"Hey miss, miss, missies, you pretty garlz, you want a pretty purse, pretty purse for the pretty garls?" The man hunkered down at our feet and spread out a tarp covered in truly horrible knockoff designer purses, which had been painstakingly safety-pinned to the tarp.

"Puhleez, what are these made of? Blue rat? No thanks."

The man bundled up his purses and shuffled off. I saw a man in his 20's who looked like he could use a lap dance and decided to ask for directions.

"Hey mister, where are you headed?"

He looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train* and pretended to cough. Yeah, he was headed in our direction.

"We've looking for Glitterpuss, can you help us?"

"Uh well um I was actually headed that way, so... I guess I can show you where it is..."

Suki and I exchanged glances and fell in step with the jumpy young man. In a few minutes, we started to hear the music. At this time of day, there were only a few cars, but we could hear people talking inside. The facade of the building was made of an enormous plywood cat spray-painted like a rip off of the Chesire cat. It was also heavily coated in glitter. Lined up like kittens along the belly was a row of crudely drawn babes. Also, the whole thing looked like a giant cunt. Suki was apalled at the sheer hideousity of it all.

"It's-"

"Don't even say anything. Let's go in."

Three steps in the door, a fat little man in his 40's came to stop us.

"Whoah whoah whoah whoah whoah! We are only open before hours for private parties, and you are not on the list!"

"Seriously, why would I even be here if I wasn't on the list? Check again," Suki demanded as she snatched the clipboard. "Oh look, here I am, see?"

Cowed, the little man leads us to the back of the club. There is a group of mostly naked women lounging in a small jacuzzi and a few middle aged Italians playing cards at a table. I don't know what I expected from a VIP orgy, but this wasn't it. This wasn't sexy! This wasn't even FUN! It looked like a family vacation more than anything else. This was not what I stood for, this was not living it up Vagina Style.

"Suki, lets blow this joint."

The men at the table looked up hopefully. The fat man scowled.

"You can't do that here! dancing only, no touching!"

"I didn't mean that, but you goddamn assexuals can't tell me what to do with my mouth! We're out of here!" I took Suki's elbow and marched us out of there. As we got to the door, Suki stopped and turned around.

"You don't DESERVE glitter," she spat at the fat man and the group of girls. And with that we set off down the street.

...to be continued...

lyric from ALBUQUERQUE by Weird Al Yankovich