Another Sunday in the city the clouds forgot. Looking in my closet, I felt the usual rebellion to put on clothes. Nothing is ever really clean and nothing will hide the sweat stains that take over as soon as I step outside. Fuck it. Maybe Suki will agree to a bum day. Sunday bum day.
"Aye Suki, how is my mistress this morning? The heat is coming for us, fancy a bum day?"
"You read my mind, 'gina. Meet you at the pit after a shower."
"Don't bother. Just sweat out the impurities, like the Chinese."
"I don't think that's the Chinese..."
"Meet you there."
I put on some tattered cutoffs, a wifebeater, and a really sad looking baseball cap. Sometimes we go undercover as bums for research. You see, we are writers. We just haven't decided what to write yet. But it's going to be good.
The pit, an aptly named abandoned lot where transients and, on the odd occasion, Regina and I loitered, was as dusty as ever. Browning weeds clung to life in the barren dirt, refusing to bow their heads even for the majesty of the sun.
Unaccustomed to being anything but the center of attention, blending in in sweat pants and an over-sized t-shirt felt like a form of torture. People walked past us like we were nothing. We clung to the background of life, like human trash.
“Regina, do we not look at homeless people when we pass them?”
“Shhh, someone will catch on; we're undercover, remember?”
I sighed. The wind kicked up some dust into my mouth and I tried not to gag.
People continued past us, bustling their way to wherever. Talking on their cells. Fiddling on their iPhones. Reading the news on their iPads. Listening to music, ear buds in, world out. Children playing their DSi's and PSPs.
"Look at these zombies. What has society come to? All we do is gratify ourselves with cheap music and porn."
"You're right Suki. It's all about getting the laugh, getting the sob, making these poor sods feel something. Entertainment is the only way to get through to people."
"Well we have to do something, 'gina. It's not right that a couple of wannabe bums are more in tune with reality than the so-called normal people. We have to educate, spread the word like Mormons."
"Shit, what do we know about that? And we just established that entertainment is the only way to reach people."
"So we write a blog. We make it entertaining, but we open people's eyes to stuff like this, the Pit. We make them learn new words. We should do it for ourselves if nothing else."
"But only the literate to semi-literate read blogs. How will that reach the masses?"
"With any luck, it will eventually be made into a sitcom."
Bored by the roll of the urban sea, we trudged back home. The air-conditioning hit us like a brick wall of refreshment. Suki sighed as she sat down in front of her already sweltering laptop.
“Whoa, that was easier than I expected,” Suki said as she finalized their blog. “I guess these things really are idiot proof.”
“When should we post our first blog? What do you think it should be about?”
“Hmm, well how about how people need to be constantly plugged into things to connect to each other anymore?”
“Doesn't that make us hypocrites or like electro-drug dealers or something? Suki? Hello?”
“Oh, sorry, I was texting. What was it you were saying?”
“Exactly.
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